i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
