I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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