so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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