yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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