you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
