we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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