Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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