Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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