You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
