You really coming over, don't trick.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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