I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
