Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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