this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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