I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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