covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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