Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
