I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
