the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
