RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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