Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
