Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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