So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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