i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
