Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
