I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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