Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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