Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
