I think my vagina is haunted
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
