Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
