I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
