I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
