So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I came so hard my ears popped.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
