I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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