Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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