Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize