yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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