Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
