drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I could fuck to npr.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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