You really coming over, don't trick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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