Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So squirting runs in the family.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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