Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
