You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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