That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
