I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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