I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize