Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
