just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
