yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
