remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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