So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
