I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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