It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
