so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
