I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize