why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
