We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize