It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
