Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
