The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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