but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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