Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My penis needs a shock collar
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
