Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
