Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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